blog.


How To Be a Person of Substance
I want to be a person of substance.
A person whose beauty and security shines through my exterior in a way that is only explainable by a God who made me to be.
My choreography, my movement, my art, my conversations, my work, my relationships, can all have substance if I let them overflow from Heaven's resources.
But the most powerful substance of my identity comes from knowing that if I were to ever be incapable of choreographing, of moving, of creating art, of conversing, of working, of having any relationships, that I am still completely whole, completely loved, & completely valuable = without any of these things that I currently work so hard to perfect.

When Things Are Not Okay
Though things may not okay, circumstances are but temporary, while the joy of the Lord is not. Calling upon Your name today, as I try to remember who I am in You, even when all else in life fails me. Because things are not okay, when you are missing. I invite You, Jesus, into the broken & empty areas of life, where I've left abandoned & forgotten. Would you renew me, Lord. Because I trust that the parts of me that have once been broken, are that much more beautiful when made whole again.

The Truth of I Am.
Excruciatingly long seasons,
Seemingly unproductive steps towards success,
Hidden fears & disappointment towards God,
Apathy at its finest...

The Art of Letting Go
I want to look into the eyes of Jesus & want Him more than I want anything.
& even if I am left with nothing, if I am stripped of all hope & promises, if I just have Him, then I am wholly satisfied.
I want to love God with all that I have, though it may not be much, & though it may cost me everything.
I want to fight for You, till the ends of the earth, I want to fight for You. Not for Your promises, not for Your blessings, not for the things You can offer me, but You & You alone- the presence that sustains me for eternity.
& although right now it hurts to let go, I want to trust You enough, Daddy, to give it up.

All of Me, for All of You
I want to fight for you.
I want to give you all of me, every whole or broken piece of me, until the day I acquire the fullness of what you promised me - You.
Though what I have to offer may be little and quite lacking; though what you give me in return is immeasurably greater; though what you deserve is much more than I can ever carry… You are enough for me to trade all of me, for all of you.

In Heaven's Eyes
He is a reality. & the idea of Heaven- of HOME- is such a real place, a real ending (or beginning). It is a tangible & undeniable reward that we, she, gets to enjoy for eternity.
I loved my grandma- with every ounce of guilt, with every second of laughter that I had with her. But God loved her first. & she confidently loved Him back. & that is truth- the only truth that locks itself with the hands of eternity.
Sung In Soon (08.12.1931 ~ 12.24.2017)

Like a Child Again
A simple 30 second prayer later, she looks at me, smiling.
"It doesn't hurt! I just feel a tingly feeling in my knee but that's about it!"
"Well, is it still bleeding?""Nothing's leaking through my band-aid, so no!"
We laugh together.
Her eyes, wide open, twinkling with an inkling of hope for a better life.

12.16.2016
Is it called naivity
If I'm excited about what's to come
Even when it seems imaginary

Dreaming with God
It wasn't that God was giving me a greater destiny according to how faithful I was.
Someone needed to grasp hold of His dream in order to claim it as their own, & I was simply the one who said yes.
I hadn't earned my destiny, God had gifted me with one from the very beginning.
I didn't deserve it, & I most definitely wasn't more qualified than anyone else around me.
& if I had chosen to walk away, my destiny would not have changed.