The Art of Letting Go

There are many times God asked me to give something up. Not because he didn't want me to have it, or because "the Christian life is a life of sacrifice." Not because I had to pick up my cross to be the obedient child He asked me to be, or because He, in any way, wanted me to be unhappy. 

But because... 

Because God wanted more of me. 
Because in the most subtle, the most gentle way, He was making space in my heart for more joy, more peace, more love, more righteousness. 
Because God, somewhere where I couldn't see far enough, had something much bigger, much better in mind for me. 

Sometimes, especially in the times you want to fight for Jesus the most, letting go is the hardest thing to do. God, I want to pursue you, but I want to pursue this too. & that- that innocent desire to want to hold on dear to the things we love most, to grip on tighter when we know we can't keep it forever- that is what often leads to a gradual life of compromise. 
& yes, God is the ultimate Giver, who rewards us for our sacrifices. He is a God of blessing & provision. Why not let go, when we can have something better? It should be easy letting go, when God gives us a glimpse of a grander destiny.. When he gives us promises to hope for. 
So I guess the burning question is: What if we never get a bigger teddy bear? What if we let go, & there's nothing else in return? 

This has been a constantly weighing question in my heart lately. What if I fight for God, with all of my strength & with the risks of losing what I love most... But I don't find what's better? What if I'm left with less than I had before? 
Yet in the looming faces of fear & anxiety, the answer remains the same.

I want to look into the eyes of Jesus & want Him more than I want anything. 
& even if I am left with nothing, if I am stripped of all hope & promises, if I just have Him, then I am wholly satisfied. 
​I want Jesus more than I want a teddy bear, & I would give up my most valued teddy bear a thousand times, to give Him the space in my heart He deserves. 
I want to love God with all that I have, though it may not be much, & though it may cost me everything. 
I want to fight for You, till the ends of the earth, I want to fight for You. Not for Your promises, not for Your blessings, not for the things You can offer me, but You & You alone- the presence that sustains me for eternity. 
& although right now it hurts to let go, I want to trust You enough, Daddy, to give it up. 

So to a season of letting go, in exchange for the most beautiful & ultimate reward I can ever ask for.
More of Jesus.