blog.
A Fire That Burns Slowly
I once thought that this life of faith was worth giving up on. It is a far too windy road, with too many obstacles & too many temptations. A life of always having to choose the harder option of righteousness. A life of caring about things other people have no problem not caring about.
A Crown in Exchange
I had a collection of precious jewels.
Each one labeled with the things I hold dear to my life.
My dreams, my fame, my talents, my financial stability.
But, God asked me to give them to Him.
To trade in my precious jewels, in exchange for a precious crown.
Nothing Else
요즘은 참 많은 감정이 느껴진다. 이런 저런 감정 말이다. 느껴서야 안되는 감정… 또는 오래동안 못 느껴본 감정.
Lately I’ve been trying to rewire my dreams, desires, & sense of purpose. It’s easy to live life consumed by daily worries of expectations, success, & well, life. But I don’t want to live with selfish ambition. & I think that’s what God has been wanting to teach me - except I wasn’t ready. Until now, that is.
#BlackLivesMatter
I tiptoed around such sensitive issues because I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries, because I didn’t want to disrespect anybody, because I didn’t want to speak as if I understand. Because for our parents’ generation, passivity was the only way to survive and to fit in to society, & that’s the way we’ve been doing it for years.
But I’m starting to learn that although it is a generational & cultural mindset, I can break the cycle of silence as an individual (as so many others are beginning to do). I’m starting to learn that believing in my own voice is so very important when it comes to fighting for those facing injustice. I’m starting to learn that when God told us we are to be a light in the world & that we can do mighty things in Him, that He meant that for the much bigger issues in the world that I thought I was too small to handle.
And although I am not black, I can feel for them, I can love on them, I can stand with them, & I can speak out for them.
morning pages.
Years of struggle, a million different jobs, times of joy & times of uncertainty, & a few months of quarantine later… I’ve found more clarity in my disappointments of “lost time”, through accepting that I can’t recreate my past environments in my current life. But I can understand what about those past environments made me happy, how they helped me draw closer to Jesus, & apply those elements into working towards a healthy relationship with God now. I can allow the most important core belief I once held onto so dearly to take root in me again… the simplicity of Jesus.
Like Honey
"You dunk my heart in heavenly honey, it drips with the thickness of Your sweet love for me.
Oh Lord, nothing can be sweeter, nothing can be thicker, nothing can make my heart escape from being covered by You & wanting to know more of who You are.
Oh sweet lovely Jesus, come in & make Your sweetness my food, my feast for all of my days.
How To Be a Person of Substance
I want to be a person of substance.
A person whose beauty and security shines through my exterior in a way that is only explainable by a God who made me to be.
My choreography, my movement, my art, my conversations, my work, my relationships, can all have substance if I let them overflow from Heaven's resources.
But the most powerful substance of my identity comes from knowing that if I were to ever be incapable of choreographing, of moving, of creating art, of conversing, of working, of having any relationships, that I am still completely whole, completely loved, & completely valuable = without any of these things that I currently work so hard to perfect.