Nothing Else

요즘은 참 많은 감정이 느껴진다.
이런 저런 감정 말이다.
느껴서야 안되는 감정… 또는 오래동안 못 느껴본 감정.

Lately I’ve been trying to rewire my dreams, desires, & sense of purpose.
It’s easy to live life consumed by daily worries of expectations, success, & well, life.
But I don’t want to live with selfish ambition.
& I think that’s what God has been wanting to teach me - except I wasn’t ready.
Until now, that is.

It hurts, to have to let go of certain dreams & desires - even if you know they are only hurting you & leaving emptiness inside.
It hurts, to have to detach from the ways of thinking I’ve held dear for many years.

But living for Jesus… though the process of learning how to do this properly often leaves me weary & confused, it’s worth it in the end.
It’s what He wanted from before even time began.
& in the end, it will have all been for good.

Because things are not okay, the way that they are.
Because until He returns, everything is but a reflection of broken decisions & shattered expectations.
& when we fix our eyes on Him, there is hope for redemption.

Unlearning, redefining, molding, & surrending.

It is a painful process that I have to endure. Day by day. One step at a time.
To look a little bit more like my Savior.
& to not be tricked by the things the world can offer.

He is all I want.

Nothing else.