#BlackLivesMatter

Police Sirens. Helicopters. Broken windows & looted businesses.
But worst of all, countless lives lost to a systemic injustice that has been ignored for too many humiliating years.

I took a few days to educate myself. To reach deep within & reflect on the emotions I’m feeling, & to connect with the Black community to the best of my ability even though I can’t even come close to understanding what they are going through. And to be honest, this is all so very new to me. Watching the news & seeing George Floyd flooding my social media. I am, to my core, devastated & feeling so betrayed by the evils of humanity.
But so many times before, so many names I read, I felt somewhat indifferent. Not because I didn’t care, but because I felt helpless. After all, how can a small little Asian girl like me possibly make a difference?
Little did I know that my silence was one more heavy pound added on to the TONS of burden the Black community has had to carry. Alone. Unheard.

I grew up in a primarily Asian household, surrounded by primarily Asian friends, growing up in a primarily Asian culture that taught me my voice in these issues didn’t matter. “Asians don’t understand.” or “Asians are fakes when it comes to their love for Hip Hop, or other outlets of Black culture” or “It’s just simply not your place.”
I tiptoed around such sensitive issues because I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries, because I didn’t want to disrespect anybody, because I didn’t want to speak as if I understand. Because for our parents’ generation, passivity was the only way to survive and to fit in to society, & that’s the way we’ve been doing it for years.
But I’m starting to learn that although it is a generational & cultural mindset, I can break the cycle of silence as an individual (as so many others are beginning to do). I’m starting to learn that believing in my own voice is so very important when it comes to fighting for those facing injustice. I’m starting to learn that when God told us we are to be a light in the world & that we can do mighty things in Him, that He meant that for the much bigger issues in the world that I thought I was too small to handle.
And although I am not black, I can feel for them, I can love on them, I can stand with them, & I can speak out for them.

My voice has power.
My actions are loud.

To the Black community, I apologize for my silence in the past. And I am HURTING for justice to be served. I acknowledge that this is an underlying systematic issue that you all have been dealing with for years throughout history, and although I can’t even fathom the pain, the burden, & the frustration you feel, I will now speak up against racism with courage & with boldness. Because that is is the very least that you deserve. And as an Asian American who has been heavily influenced by Black culture (in my dancing, my love for music, etc.), I will do my part to amplify your voice & to press in stronger towards change.

George Floyd, Sandra Bland, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Freddie Gray, India Kager, & so many others whose names remain unrecognized by the media.
It hurts to see that the list is so long.
But I will remember them, so that every day I remind myself to do my part. To support as many causes, to put my money where my mouth is, to honor the black community, & to SPEAK UP against any act of racism that I see. Let us all continue to educate ourselves & to start stepping up our actions to make a change.
Your voice matters. Our voice matters.