Wrestling with God
I strongly believe that one can only wrestle with God if they have the friendship & relationship with Him to be able to go to Him & say,
"God, I know you want me to live in this way, but I can't seem to fully surrender myself to that, so would you equip me (whatever that may look like- even if it's different from my expectations) in a way where my name, my very identity, every inch of my bones is in perfect tune with your plans for me."